Where the Hell Have You Been

That seems to be the only thing I have heard from people. I know I have been gone for what seems to be forever. I get into these modes where I just wanna hide and be left alone. Not to many people know but about 4 months ago, I made a decision to leave the ring of friends I was associating with. This was a really hard thing for me to do. Yet I needed to know exactly who my real friends were. With all the mess that was going on within this ring of people it was the healthiest move I could make for myself. Low and behold, I truly found where I stand in the world. That would be by myself. The only person that has ever truly been there is my brother Marko.
It is like I am in grade school again. I am going places and trying to meet new people. It is really hard though. I am use to my phone ringing off the hook and always having somewhere and something to do. I find that I am throwing myself into my work and school. I have absolutely no social life, which I never thought I would ever say.
I am still in a very great relationship with a wonderful man. Yet this seems to be hard for me because when you are not feeling so alive yourself it is hard to manage a relationship. He is understanding and for that I am so thankful. Yet I feel with all the shitty relationships I have been in that this one will surely go to hell also. Yet I need to not doom it myself. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and will have a great New Years!